


Ikea

by TheLittleMuse



Category: The Dresden Files - Jim Butcher
Genre: F/M, Ficlet, Humour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-02
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2019-05-17 10:23:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14830475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLittleMuse/pseuds/TheLittleMuse
Summary: Harry goes to Ikea to get some new furniture. Things ... don't go to plan.





	Ikea

I walked slowly. The aisle stretched eerily before me. Murph had _promised_ that Ikea would be a good place to get a bed for my new apartment, one that would actually fit my overly long frame (and potential guest) but it was looking more and more like I had wandered into some realm of the NeverNever.

I shook my head determinedly, trying to clear it. You couldn’t accidently wander into the NeverNever, it had some pretty definite walls (which were, admittedly, thin at some points of reality, but still). I was still walking down the same aisle.

The shop hadn’t looked this big on the outside, had it? I tried to get my bearings by reading the labels on whatever fancy coffee table I was passing, but it was all in Swedish. That wasn’t sinister, I was just some big, dumb American who didn’t know foreign.

Well, they should label things in American for big, dumb Americans who didn’t know foreign then. I didn’t know what any of these things were. How many different types of desk lamp did you need anyway?

How long had I been in here? It felt like days. Well that was stupid. Except there were no windows, how would I know? I could’ve been trapped inside the shop, just walking in circles for days, not able to see the sun. There were numerous spells that could muddle your senses like that.

_Or_ I was just lost in a shop. There wasn’t anything sinister about the fact that I was wandering down identical aisles with no clue where I was in a timeless vacuum.

That was when I really began to panic. And possibly made a scene. And possibly got kicked out by security.

 

…

 

Murph rubbed my back comfortingly as she passed me a bowl of ice cream, “Oh Harry,” she said, “It’s nothing magical. Ikea’s like that for everyone, it’s some marketing trick to make you stay in longer. I shouldn’t have let you go in alone.”

I sniffed a little pathetically, “If it happens to everyone, how do you know it’s not magic?”

“Read an article about it. They do it with the layout. Makes you confused.”

“That’s what they say,” I grumbled. “I say fairies. Could be some sort of magic circle on a large scale.”

“So … you want to investigate properly?”

She must have seen the apprehension in my face because she laughed and ruffled my hair. I batted her hand away and she said, “C’mon, I’ll come with you and we’ll get you some furniture.”

 

…

 

“Say it.”

“No.”

“Say it, Murph, we’re lost.”

“Fine,” she sighed. “I’ll get you something online. But you _will_ pay me back.”

“Of course,” I said. “I bet you’ll enjoy that, buying all my new furniture, thinking about what bed I need – oof,” Murph had given me a sharp elbow in the stomach and I grinned at her. “Sensitive, much?”

Murph gave me an impressive glare before marching off, before stopping. “How … do we get out?” she asked.

“Only one way to find out.”

“Harry. No.”

We got thrown out again.

 

**Author's Note:**

> We all know Ikea makes their shop deliberately confusing to make you buy more and I was hit by the idea of Harry wandering around trying to find furniture for his new apartment. I'm not sure if I accurately conveyed the stupidness in my head, but hey, it wasn't anything great.


End file.
